responsibility

the adult life is nice, but it comes with a lot of responsibility. and i have always hated responsibility. i could never manage or take care of myself. come to think about it, i think the only responsibility that i had was only studying, and to get good grades. that's it.

but i have to grow up. i have to leave all of my spoilt way of live. i have to wash dishes, do my laundry, start taking care of my health and etc.

why?
because i have only enjoyed the bright side of an adult, going out to parties, spending all my money, living without my parents' rule- but in the end- i have to take care of myself.

i have to stop complaining of how my life sucks, because life sucks being an adult. everyone has to work, although they are not happy with it. well unless i can throw balls to be famous foot ball or basket ball player, or have an amazing face or body to become a model or actress. but i'm not all that, so like the other 90% of the human population, i have to deal with it.

i hereby accept my responsibility.
because i am just an ordinary adult,
just like everyone else.

and i will try to quit on complaining about how my life is.
because i have an amazing life.

addition to the to do list

1. llm long paper, final draft-75 pages-march 11
2. learn cyntax to pay tax
3. pay tax
4. law firm conference in securities 2morrow
5. march 1, law firm conference
6. dammmmn
   

Ahaaay

I took theese tests...funfunfun!

1. Test 1: My Love Life Secrets Are: Looking back on your life, you will hace a few true loves (Hallelujah...Thank God!). You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt (errr...no comment). You prefer a quirky, unique person to be your lover (so that's why they are all weird in one way or another). You are easy going about who you are with, as long as they love you back (HEAR..HEAR!!). In fights, you speak your mind and don't hold back. You know you're right and you can get quite angry about it (this usually happens after a long time of feelings' repression, the "explosion" time...). Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go (now that's my bitch!!!)
2. Test 2: The Keys to My Heart: You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untramelled and free (Whaaat? Meeee? DAMN! So this is why i could never find a guy who would settle down..) In love, you feel most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored (man, i could be attracted to ADD Person anytime soon then...). You'd like your lover to think of you as faithful and loyal..and that you will never change (really? hmmm..interesting). You would be forced to break up with someone who is moody, emotional and difficult to please (because that is exactly what i am...haha, one of that kind of creature is enough in a relationship). Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future, one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero (only when i am in love though..). You care about society and morality (too much sometimes..). You would never break a commitment (that's why i don't like making promises...). You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as a commitment. Love only works when both people are devoted (quid pro quo, the rule that i live with).
3. I also took the test of what age do i act (27), Which sex and the city character i am (Carrie), How well do you know men (i can earn a PhD), Am i a relationship wrecker (totally not, instead I'm a relationship rescuer)..but the emphasis is more on finding out what i really want in a relationship- because that is what i really need to find out now. Although i usually discuss my relationship issues with my friends- since they are thousand miles away- i tried to find an unbiased and independent source...the quiz...I think within a few days i can come up to something.
   

A sailor and a ship

sometimes,
our past is just like a harbor,
that keeps us where we are,
and guards us,
but sometimes,
we have to learn to let go of the past,
so we can make the journey,
from who we are,
to what we will become.

I don't know where this ship is sailing,
I wished only for a compass,
But the northern star will be just fine,
A loving companion i yearn,
Along the journey to share the nights with,
someone to talk with,
about our dreams, love, past and present
Courageous this fellow must be,
Willing to look to the future that lies ahead us,
But nobody wants to take part in this risky adventure.

I am lonely.
I feel so lonely.
The loneliness is so palpable.

New Things He Brought

Ever since I met my baby, there are some new things that he introduced me to- which I never knew before. Those things are:

1. The Onions- the parody newspaper which i still don't find funny although he persistently try to make me understand the humour within it.

2. Ali G- unlike the Onions, I could laugh to Ali G in a shorter period. Although the first time I saw Ali G I found it as insulting (on the gender issues), he sucessfully made me laugh.

3. ESPN boxing classics-I do not like sports and working out, not to mention watching one-especially the violent one. I have never watched full rounds of boxing, I though it was nonsense and violent. Thankfully I met my baby after I watched the movie "one million dollar baby" (if i am not mistaken)- which makes me appreciate boxing much more than before.

4. Kurt Vonnegut- I have never heard of this writer before, and have never seen his book any where in my life- until I saw his racks of books. After my first purchase of Vonnegut book-which was hillarious-I realized what I have been missing.

5. Pizza Pocket-My baby served me my first pizza pocket-which i think is the most efficient, effective and tasty meal.

6.Chick A Fill- And yet, my baby introduced me into another amazing meal. The bread was soft, just like a pudding, and the chicken is tasty...Yummy.....

7. Mid-West, My first trip to Mid West begins with the most familiar face that I love sooo much-my baby's face. Not to mention the warmth and homey feeling I felt with his family...And trips to all around his hometown.

8. Carrs crackers- One of my baby's favourite midnite snack is cracker and cheese. He loves cheese, although he doesnt love tease (right babe?). He loves to cut big chunks of cheese, and seeing him eating those big chunks of shapeless cheese makes me wants to laugh- his facial expression is as happy as a kid.

9. Tostitos- I am the regular consumer of Dorritos, and i thought Tostitos would taste the same. Again, he usually take his Tostitos if it is almost midnite, while watching tv or dvd.

10. Old Movies- the only old movies that i have ever watched was "Roman Holiday",starring Audrey Hepburn. Based on the Hollywood movies that I watched, old movies is usually being watched by the single broken hearted chick, or the romantic couples. And so, I thought that it was safe to assume that old movies=romantic movies. So when I found out that he likes old movies, I thought of how romantic he actually is inside. Until I found out, that he was not into the chick flick old movies (What? so old movies does not mean chick flick?). I overslept the first time we watched his old movies together...

Of course there are a lot of other things that i found out, because spending my days with him is like having a different gift every single day. There are always new things, and they are always nice. This is why I treasure my moment with him.