roller coaster

so until a few days ago i was living in a house that belongs to bob and debbie,
for...a month.
where everything is clean, crisp, and green,
where food flows like river,
and love is available like air that you can always breathe.
where babies laughter is the music that you wake up to,
and the barking of a dog is what you sleep with.
a house filled with childhood memories,
(though not my childhood, for sure).
where every evening i can feel the breeze of air,
when the moon starts showing.
where i can see stars shining brightly,
i the deep blue sky.

and now i am in cambridge,
in a space that seems to say "single and available" outloud.
where you can feel a presence of a man,
although the man is not around.
where i am surrounded by the metal utilities in the kitchen,
different kind of a kitchen that would be used by a woman.
and you can feel the hardwood in the steps that you make...
where memories are just about to be created,
nothing from the past personal live is available,
no photos, no cards, no letters...
this place is unhaunted by the ghost from the past,
this place is a new beginning.
after all,
this place belongs to a male,
no feminine, lovey-dovey and sentimental thing around,
everything in here serves a purpose,
no messing around...
the journey to the whole apartment is quick,
you're either in the living room, kitchen, bathroom, or bedroom...
no grey area,
that's what i like,
no middle thing,
you're either here or there,
and it shows a very efficient and fast paced way of living.
in one trip, you will have all the experience,
one in all...
but i love being here,
this is a test for me to remain in the moment,
when everything else seems to move so fast forward.
being in here,
it seems like there is no past and no future,
what you have is now,
and only now.

and in a few days,
i will be moving to a space,
that has two small windows,
and to reach that place,
you have to go through steep stairs,
until you reach the jungle of dust and books,
unorganized and scattered around,
as if hurricane just came and went,
uninvited,
until you reach a space,
and within that space i will stay,
until when i do not know,
but i have a feeling that i will be spending a lot of time in there,
alone,
contemplating,
and i shall have a lot of books before i move in,
knowing that i will not go out of my space for a long time.

i guess my roller coaster is going around this week,
not that there is any particular ups and downs simply because of where the roller coaster is,
but rathere the passenger is the most important thing.
it doesn't matter where my roller coaster goes,
how many ups and downs that i have to face,
its the sound that other passenger makes,
the tightened hand helding mine,
that is what matters most...