What Happened to Me

What happened to me this week is not much.

1. As usual, the suicidal feeling comes once in a while.
   
2. My ex called and sends big kisses along with some I love you's. Not in a lover term i bet. Somehow we are just like soulmate. We have so many resemblances. Our animal instinct are just so strong. Yet, we are not civilized enough to love each other in a loving manner. If we stick for too long, we begin hurting each other.
3. A former one night stand contacted me through mail. He wanted to know what's going on with my life. The fact that he told me he have some pictures of me really bothered me.
4. Another ex called. They always do that. When I finally walked out of their life, they begin telling me that they want me back. Why can't you treat me well when I was with you?This time he comes with a wedding proposal. No. I simply cant. I've told every single ex of mine that there would be no point of return. I warned them time and time, and they always thought I was bluffing. Too bad, but it's too late.
   
5. The guy that I am in love with still has no clue what he wants from me. And, i was bluntly being honest. I need terms and conditions. I can't wait forever. Three months has passed. And, i think in another three months, he still would still not have a clue of what he wants from me. But somehow I feel that before it hits another three months, I will be walking out. I don't think I can take the pain of seeing him sharing his self with another while I am saving my self for him.
   
6. Cancelled dinner proposals from people who wanted to date me, rejected phone calls- I am simply too tired to keep other guys in my radar. I don't have time for it. I am in love right now, and that is more than enough to handle. I really don't need other man to date or to sleep with. They are just not worth it. What worts more than love? I don't to be unjust to other people who has good faith in dating me but I simply am not with them when I am with them. I will begin dating if I want to be with them. Which would mean, when I am not in love with another guy. Don't worry fellas, it's for your own sake.
   
7. i have to reignite my sense of dream and purpose, and stop being a potato couch. I am here to reach for my stars. Damn it, how can I do it if i dont even have a dream?
   
8. happy thanksgiving. to all the turkeys, i hope you are happy to finally meet the Unknown.