philo+sophia

been drawn to the quest of life and gaining the benefit of reason and experience of torture that souls brings. remembering some days when i used to discuss kierkegaard, plato, aristoteles, nietsczhe, jung, arabi every single hour. i am searching for a laid back sparing partner in philosophy, although i prefer talking about phsychology lately. the problem is, i am not comfortable discussing my point of view and ways of understanding with other people, especially if the topic is world history, politics and philosophy. i don't know why. some people thinks that i am just humble. but i am just secretive with this side of me. as far as i am concerned, only 3 people knows this side of me. i could suddenly become an angry bull when defending what i believe, i think that's because i don't believe in too many things. some part of me is just afraid to open up to other people, because this is a part that i treasure most, a part that i found in my solitude, through a long process of thought and confusion and emotion, and i want to share it with someone who would really be drawn into this realm. a lot of people got scared when this happens, and i ensure not to share this part in an early stage of relationship. note that i said relationship, not friendship- just by the mere fact that i have never shared any..seriously..none of this with any of my friend. but some people find me highly attractive, or in the precise word..sexy when i do this. maybe because the intimacy that it creates, maybe because we were drawn into the world of our own, maybe because our battle of words symbolizes the act of making love. i think that is all true. well..i think this is just my nerdy side. but, for now i simply accept the part that i am somewhat an intellectual.