25

i will be 25 years old next year, quarter life crisis being launched. five years ago, i would never have thought that i would be precisely where i am right now. mysterious where time in your life brings you. yet i feel as if i am 46 years old. i feel that there is nothing that life hasn't thrown at me yet. and so here i am, still looking the same, i still smile all the time the way that i have always smiled since i was a kid, i still carry the same sorrow and sadness in my eyes- what people say as a look that a deer has when they were hit by a truck, i still have the same frown whenever people teases me, i still move my hands wildly whenever i am in an argument, the jokes that i tell are still not funny, the stare that i gave are still intense and often scare people away.

what has changed about me? let's see... i am much more closer to God spiritually although not ritually, i value my family more than ever, i became much more tolerant, i do not fear maturity and death as much, i learned that the most valuable thing are friends, i know that the greatest love is the love to thy self, i appreciate solitude greater, i am not as short tempered as i was, i can actually say emotional thing like "i love you" and "i miss you".

other than that, i lost the virginity of my heart with my first love, i embrace my feminity, i am comfortable with my self, and am enjoying the present moment. if anyone asked me whether i would like to return back to my past, i will absolutely say no, and there is nothing that i would change about myself.