the power of being impulsive

you only live once. and in life there are so many choices that you make. that is the gift of free will. to choose for your very own destiny. on the other hand, time passes by. and time could not be turned around. you could not go and undo your past. you cannot tell what happens in the future. you only have the present moment. borrowing eckhart tolle's word, you only have now.

what if there are moments when you should take decision quickly? one time, and this is a true story, when alexander graham bell found telephone and patented it, a very same person in United Kingdom, also found out about telephone. However, unlike Bell, who patented his finding, this other guy goes shopping, and went to the patent office after shopping. There it goes, the patent of telephone, because of shopping.

Another example is when Napoleon decided to wait to attack a famous continent. He thinks he should wait until morning comes. Little did he know, that enemy was attacking him at the night time. There it goes, the territory and victory, over waiting.

I tend to take decision in the spur of the moment. I do what i want to do, exactly when i want to do it. I say whatever it is in my head. All of this is instilled by fear. The fear of being napoleon or the shopping guy (not that being them is bad, it's already awesome). but i guess i am just afraid of failure. i am scared of regrets.

But the consequences of my impulsiveness is harsh. I invited so may problems. Come to think about it, it is very childish for nothing thinking of the consequences of your action. From now on, i am making the commandment to not be impulsive. To think through things. And i shall control my impulsiveness by these means:
- having self control:

1. no smoking
2. no drinking
3. no over medicating

these are basically things that would drive me to act impulsively. fights that i had, because i'm drunk, fire that i almost cause because i smoke, tendency to kill myself, because i over medicated.

- having self discipline

1. wake up at regular time
2. not missing any class or appointment
3. read joel's book everyday
4. work out regularly
5. pray regularly
6. not to over indulge myself

then again, this is the concept. i will try, but smoking and drinking is the hardest part. at least now i know the drive of my impulsiveness. how to tame the unleashed dragon, is yet another challenge.