What does being independent means? Independence seems to be something that all teenagers crave. Does it merely means getting out of your parents house, going to party and getting drunk every night? Or does it means something like all magazines seems to assert, being able to choose your partner and financially stable in your daily life?
My interpretation of independence have always been being self sufficient and self relying. It means not bothering anyone, not to be easily astrayed by emotion, and most importantly, by not needing anyone. So resistant and persistent was I to be in my own determination that I would not seek help even if needed. The conflict therein lies when i realize that as a human being, it is our nature to be an individual and a social person in the same realm. It was hard to engulf the faith that i needed someone else.
I refuse to be connected or seeking help from somebody else. It was a great shock and dissapointment when someone told me that i was dependent. It hurts so much. I know it isn't true. The person who said such words had even told me that he didn't mean it. But words are somehow just like a stone, once you say a word- it is just like throwing a stone, you could never take it back. I know its not true. But i have been driving myself away from everything, and overdrive myself to the limit, and not take my medicine- just to prove that i am not dependent, to anything.
The price of trying to prove myself to be independent is high. I could be in the verge of depression at any given moment, i drove people who cared about me away, but i am determined to do all this. Not to prove to anyone else, just to myself. That I am self sufficient and self relying. Now that i have passed that stage, i know the balance of being independent while still being a human who needs social contact.
My interpretation of independence have always been being self sufficient and self relying. It means not bothering anyone, not to be easily astrayed by emotion, and most importantly, by not needing anyone. So resistant and persistent was I to be in my own determination that I would not seek help even if needed. The conflict therein lies when i realize that as a human being, it is our nature to be an individual and a social person in the same realm. It was hard to engulf the faith that i needed someone else.
I refuse to be connected or seeking help from somebody else. It was a great shock and dissapointment when someone told me that i was dependent. It hurts so much. I know it isn't true. The person who said such words had even told me that he didn't mean it. But words are somehow just like a stone, once you say a word- it is just like throwing a stone, you could never take it back. I know its not true. But i have been driving myself away from everything, and overdrive myself to the limit, and not take my medicine- just to prove that i am not dependent, to anything.
The price of trying to prove myself to be independent is high. I could be in the verge of depression at any given moment, i drove people who cared about me away, but i am determined to do all this. Not to prove to anyone else, just to myself. That I am self sufficient and self relying. Now that i have passed that stage, i know the balance of being independent while still being a human who needs social contact.
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