support system

how could a person who personally knows:

1. her 45o friends in friendster
2. her 100 friends in facebook

not have a support system..at all?
okay.. i need to have a plan not to relapse. no..i have not become an alcoholic, or drug addict. i was a little bit depressed.
dang it.
what the hell did i do wrong?
I listed down my new friends:

1. Michael Starace
   
2. Nicholas Fiorito
3. Darryl Carvaggio
4. Megan
5. Meghan
6. Amy Jackson
7. Matthew Porter
8. JP
   
9. Richard
10. Jean Opel
11. Martha
12. Annie Carter
13. Danielle Gaudette
14. Alana
15. Zane Harman
16. Steve
17. Saguib
18. Patrick
19. Glenn
20. Mike
21. Lucas
22. Allya
23. Manuel
24. Renee
25. Xu Wang
    
26. Sandy Chen
    
27. Sandra Hwee
28. Miwa Kanazawa
    

these are only friends that i met in the past three months. no, they are not acquintances. no, i did not meet them randomly in club. no, i didn't meet them through any random chat in the internet. do any of them have the possibility to be my support system? i think three out of 24 can.

so i tried to reconnect with previous friends:

1. Nitzan
2. Adam
3. Daniel
4. Melati
5. Andy
6. Amrin
7. Jo

i don't think i have any problem in finding or keeping friends. seriously.. i tend to think that i am over friendly that i even make friends with the homeless people and random people in the train or bus.
so why can't i find a support system?

gimme my friends backkkk! gimme my reliable, faithful, kind and loving friends! i hate being in a place where everyone seems to bond because of their shared experience in their first or second year. i hate not having anyone that i can share that bond with. the one that i want to share my memories with are gone. the one who shared history with me, i dont want. such a life dillema. where can i find these generous loving people like my best buddies? shud i only find them in the form of indonesian?

maybe i shud have formed new bond with other people- instead of reigniting old flames of love this christmas. from now on...the wisdom word will be, everytime i call that person that i am trying to forget- i am losing my chance to forge a new friendship with other people. and everytime i spend time with that old love of mine- i am missing out the chance to find new love. I HAVE TO REMEMBER- THAT EVERYTIME I SAY YES TO HIM- I SAY NO TO EVERYONE ELSE. FOR NOW, I AM THE PRIORITY. DON'T THINK ABOUT WHAT OTHERS MAY SAY, THINK OR DO.