Unability to Read a Map

I claim not to be able to read a map.
Because I don't know my way around.
I believed that I cannot read map.
But somehow, in the back of my mind, I know it is not true.

My highest IQ is in telling spatial difference.
My favorite subject in Math is when they do rotation.
I can tell all the direction of the winds without any difficulty.

But I chose not to know how to read map.
Because then, just like everything in my life, I know someone will be giving me a direction.
Until I realize, I don't have to be that way.

As I walked my way for the past 6 hours throughout Boston,
I remembered the time when I can actually read map.
I remember going through Singapore for the first time,
10 years old and lost,
I held my brother's little hand,
Trying to find our way back to the hotel.
I know I can't show my unability of knowing my way around.
I can't show that unability,
Because my little brother,
Whose hand is shaking and is tightly squeezing my hand,
Depends on me.

I have to know the way to lead the direction.
I barely know English,
And we got lost in this strange country,
All because of our initiation to play hide and seek.

Half an hour later,
We find our way to the hotel.
We waited until our parents got back to the hotel.
And for me to take the blame for making them worried.

But now that I know more,
I choose to remember my ability to read map,
Than remembering how my parents got angry although I can read map.

Life is full choices.
And life is what we make of it.
For now, I choose to believe in myself,
And what I am capable of.