Blessed

I will be staying for another year in US. I am grateful for what I have learned in here. I learn to understand and not merely view my accomplishement from quantifiable achievement. For 24 years of my life, what i aimed to achieve are meaningless physical achievement. I never really listened to what i really want in live. I always follow what my parents want, what society wants, what my religion wants. Have a 3 point something GPA, graduate in less than 5 years, work in a top lawfirm which office is in the Kuningan or Sudirman area, be active in organizations, find a steady boyfriend, etc...


It hurts me deeply, because my parents-again-sees me as a failure. But fuck that..this is what i want..for once in my life, I can actually do what i want. Fuck all of you who think that I am a failure. I am sick of fulfilling societal norms and values of what I am supposed to be..and what did the society gave me in return?

For what I know, I am doing what i want NOW. I don't even care about Harvard or Law School. I refue to be defined by my educational and vocational identity. I don't want people to remember me as the girl who studied law in harvard, or the girl who was best oralist. I want to be remembered just like how my personality is. These days, it is more rewarding to hear my dearest Michael saying to me that I am a very nice girl- then all those physical attributes.